Love vs Caste

Female 28

Kathmandu, Nepal

When Love and Caste Clash:

I have nobody to share this with, so I’m sharing it here.

I come from a middle-class family and am the first daughter in my lineage to earn a Master’s degree. I’ve always been praised for my dedication, ambition, and for walking a good path and I’ve built a strong reputation within my community. After losing my father, I had no strong financial support. I didn’t see a future in Nepal, so I came to Gulf with the hope of gaining international job experience, career growth, and saving enough to eventually move to a better country.

Life wasn’t easy. I joined a Nepali company in a qualified role but was pushed into sales due to toxic politics. The environment was dishonest, manipulative, and draining. I was targeted and barely surviving.

During this time, I met someone he’s Bishwokarma, and I’m Chhetri. While others tore me down, he stood by me emotionally and financially. He encouraged me to leave the toxic job, saying, “I’ll take care of you.” I trusted him, resigned, later got a well-paid job. I’ll always be grateful to him.

Now I face a painful conflict. I love him deeply, but my mother won’t accept our relationship due to caste. She says, I will be alive but dead inside It’s not hatred, it’s fear of society, curses, and social rejection.She said she would accept anyone from a "pani chalne jaat," but not him. That broke me. I’m torn between my family and him.

I get many marriage proposals from educated, well-settled men but I reject them all. I don’t want to abandon the man who stood by me when I had nothing. Yes, he has debts, legal issues, and isn’t highly educated but he’s loyal, honest, and ambitious. He tells me, if you ever have to choose, choose your family.He understands this pain because he’s been through it before. I want to help him clear his debt and rebuild his life.

My brother isn’t settled either, and I feel responsible for both of them, my man and my family. I’m working hard and also seeking side income or investments to help support them. I want to see both succeed and ensure my mother’s peace of mind.

I don’t know what the future holds. If I marry someone else, I’ll live in guilt. My man lost his mother early, grew up on his own, and matured quickly. He may not have money or status, but his loyalty is rare. Wealth can be built but finding someone like him is one in a million. My only barrier is caste. And it hurts, because I want to do right by both: the man who saved me and the family who raised me. I don’t know where I’m going.............

#tuesdaynights